It’s been nine months of build-up, but at long last their baby girl has finally arrived. And as you’d expect, the Daily Mirror is on hand to report on the happy event.
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Headline
It’s a Girl!
Sub Headline
For (Father First Name) and (Mother First Name)
Written By
New Arrivals Editor
Dirty nappies and sleepless nights are on the cards for (Father First Name) and (Mother First Name) of (Home Town) after the birth of their new baby girl, (Baby First Name).
Insiders say the couple are ‘delighted’ at the safe arrival of their daughter, and that mother and baby are both doing well. Proud dad (Father First Name) has been showing off the bouncing babe to family and friends and taking endless photographs.
Dad, (Father First Name), is also set to celebrate the birth by ‘wetting the baby’s head’, a traditional celebration that involves inviting friends to a pub for a number of drinks.
Meanwhile, the proud couple can now expect a tempestuous few weeks as they care for the new member of their family, and will have to get to grips with issues such as how best to swaddle the infant, and the temperature of the baby’s room.
“It’s too warm, that’s why she’s crying,” said (Father First Name).
“No, she’s crying because she’s a bit chilly,” said (Mother First Name).
“Waah,” added (Baby First Name).
Other flashpoints include:
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Arguments about who is the most tired
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Rows over who last changed the nappy
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Falling out over what’s making (Baby First Name) cry
“She’s tired,” said (Father First Name).
“She’s hungry,” said (Mother First Name).
“But she’s only just had a feed,” said (Father First Name).
“Waah,” added (Baby First Name).
It’s likely (Father First Name) will feel slightly neglected about this time, and may take to sulking around the house pining for a night out with his mates. (Mother First Name), meanwhile, is sure to be feeling exhausted and isolated and will be prone to spending a lot of time on the sofa, talking on the phone.
Meanwhile, little baby (Baby First Name) will be bringing unbridled joy into their lives, brightening each day as the couple watch her grow, insisting that she’s just smiled when in fact it was wind, admiring her ‘tiny feet’ and enjoying her unique ‘baby smell’.
“Watching her sleep is better than television,” (Father First Name) is likely to say, and for the first time since the birth, (Mother First Name) will agree.