Having honed their managerial skills, your chosen name has finally become the manager of Ireland’s national football team. The Daily Mirror has all the details on this monumental event.
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(Male Surname) is Ireland Manager
(Home Town) local is a Winner
Chief Sports Editor
Inexperienced newcomer (Male First Name) (Male Surname) last night vowed to lead Ireland to World Cup glory within four years, and begged his critics: “Judge me on my results.” The eyes of a proud footballing nation will now be on the unknown (Male Surname) to see whether he can deliver.
Yesterday’s extraordinary developments began with the Football Association of Ireland admitting that all the candidates on their shortlist for the new national boss had turned the job down. (Male Surname), (Age), who lives in (Home Town) and has never managed at any level, was installed as the bookies’ favourite shortly after lunchtime. His appointment was confirmed at a 4.30pm press conference and immediately sent shock waves through the football world. A BBC insider branded it ‘an insane gamble’.
However, the FAI defended their decision. A spokesman hit back: “(Male First Name) was our number one choice right from the start. People will say he lacks experience against the big boys, but his success in last season’s Fantasy Football League is there for all to see. And in recent seasons his Subutteo team has played with passion, belief and flair - qualities that will be much needed as we prepare for the World Cup qualifying stages.”
(Male Surname) admitted to the media: “I was surprised to get the call from the FAI, as I had not actually applied for the job, but (Male First Name) (Male Surname) never walks away from a challenge. I can assure the fans we will be nobody’s whipping boys. We will aim to turn Aviva Stadium into a fortress and surprise the Frances and Italys of this world on our travels.”
Last night, (Male Surname) denied their £4 million salary was too high, and claimed winning the next World Cup was a realistic possibility. (Male Surname) said, “Ireland has been a sleeping football giant for too long. I have reached the Subutteo World Cup semi-finals twice with teams that were unfancied by the pundits, and I am confident that I can take the current squad one-step further. We will make the likes of Brazil and Argentina look to their laurels. Either back me or sack me.”