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Oldest Player Spoof Newspapers - Gift Details

Even the greatest footballers must hang up their boots eventually. And now it’s the turn of your chosen individual who, having played for their favourite team, is finally calling it a day. Read all about it, as reported in the Mirror, including major highs and lows.

You can personalise every detail of the newspaper from the headline to the recipient’s favourite team. This makes the feature as realistic as possible. But, to make the spoof truly believable, why not upload an image of the individual themselves?

One simple click of the Upload a photo button will take you to your pictures. Or, click the Choose a photo from Facebook button to access your Facebook photos.

Your Gift Personalised

Personalise the spoof newspaper with the recipient's Full Name and Surname of up to 28 characters over 2 lines, with 14 characters per line.

Include the Age of the recipient of up to 3 characters over 1 line and select their Team and Rival Team. Finish off the gift with a picture of the recipient using the image uploader.

General Information

These spoof newspapers are 36 x 28cm (L x W), which is approximately the size of a tabloid. Once you’ve added your personalisation and chosen your picture, click the next button to pick from several presentation options, including framing your spoof, presentation cases and more.

Enter the exact personalisation you want to appear in the appropriate fields. The personalisation will be made exactly as it has been entered. Symbols such as accents cannot be entered unless specified. Check grammar, punctuation, capitalisation and spelling.

Spoof Contents

Fans Farewell for Old-Timer (Male Surname)

Sub Headline
(Team) Legend’s Late Night

Written By
by (Written By)
Chief Sports Editor

(Team) said an emotional farewell to one of its favourite sons last night as (Male First Name) (Male Surname) officially retired from the beautiful game.

The (Age)-year old, who once quipped that he’d play until he needed a zimmer frame to get off the field, did indeed require physical support as he left the pitch. He was weary, emotional and clearly blown away by the support of fans and players alike.

His contribution to the night’s play left (Team Nickname) with a stunning scoreline legacy – a 12-1 drubbing by (Rival Team).

Though (Male Surname) has not played a full ninety minutes for the some time now, a club rule means that the fans’ favourite was still owed a farewell game – which according to rules had to be a domestic cup tie.

(Stadium) was full to capacity and fans gasped as (Male Surname) was last night helped onto the pitch by two ‘smashing lads’ to join the midfield in the side’s eagerly awaited FA Cup clash against (Rival Team).

After winning the toss (Male Surname) had to have a lie down and a cup of tea to get his breath back, he finally rejoined his side – to rapturous applause from the team faithful.

Confusion over ends led the (Team) legend to score two in his own net, while a club official was despatched to fetch his glasses from his bedside table after he mistakenly passed the ball to the opposition a total of 42 times.

With (Rival Team) running riot at 12-0, (Male Surname) then stopped the game in order to recover a lost pair of dentures, and was only able to continue after a ‘nice lad’ from the opposing team discovered the false teeth in his sock.

In the dying minutes of the match, the (Rival Team) players stood still as a mark of respect to the legendary goalsmith, allowing him an unchecked run from the (Team) end, and when (Male Surname) finally reached the goal he neatly slotted the ball home – and wowed the fans for the final time. The crowd roared their approval, despite the 12-1 defeat.

Players and officials gave (Male Surname) a standing ovation as he was assisted to the changing rooms, a tired but happy man.

Delivery Details

UK Delivery Carrier Cost Production Timescales
(working days)
Estimated Postage Lead Times
(add to production timescales)
Standard Royal Mail £3.99 1 - 4 Days 1-3 days
Urgent Courier £6.99 1 - 4 Days Next Day
Working Days

We operate Monday to Friday only, so weekends and holidays do not count in the production or postage timescales quoted. Orders placed before 12 noon begin production that day, while orders received after this time begin the following day. Orders placed on a Friday afternoon or over a weekend will begin production on Monday.

Production + Delivery

The majority of our gifts are made to order, so please allow time for the product to be made (produced) as well as the time for delivery. The table above outlines our production time for both standard and urgent orders, please add these to the postage lead time for an accurate idea of when you’ll receive your item(s).

International Delivery Leadtimes (where available)

Standard Lead Time from production (airmail):
  • Europe: 3 - 5 days
  • Rest of the World: 5 - 7 days
Urgent Lead Time from production (Fedex courier):
  • Europe: 1 -3 days
  • North America: 1 - 2 days
  • Rest of the World: 3 - 5 days
Track My Order Delivery Box

You can track your order via our Track My Ordertracking facility.

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Presentation Options

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Oldest Player Spoof Newspapers

From £ 11.99
Read Reviews
  • A personalised spoof Daily Mirror back page
  • Personalise the headline and elements of the story
  • Upload any image with one click
  • Excellent choice of presentation options
  • Tabloid-sized (36 x 28cm)
This product is guaranteed for delivery by Christmas via all shipping methods

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