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Retirement - Spoof Newspaper - Gift Details

It’s been a long time coming. But after years of hard graft, it’s finally time for them to call it a day and retire. The knock-on effect is predictably cataclysmic for the economic world, with the Mirror reporting on events.

Your Gift Personalised

You can personalise your spoof with the recipient's Full Name and Home Town along with the Company Name and the numbers Years Employed. There is also an option to upload an Image of the recipient.

General Information

These spoof newspapers are 36 x 28cm, which is approximately the size of a tabloid. There are also several presentation options.

Please note that the image upload facility does not work on mobile devices.

Spoof Contents

(First Name) (Surname) Retires

Sub Headline
It’s the end of an era for (Company Name)

Written By
Business Editor

Colleagues have waved a fond farewell to (First Name) (Surname), who has finally retired – after working for (Company Name) for (Years Employed).

(First Name) retiring is devastating,” said a downcast fellow employee, who asked not to be named. “It’s a very dark day for the company and (First Name) will be sadly missed.”

With (First Name) gone, business experts have been speculating on the future of the business without this amazing employee. Some say the firm’s fortunes may well nosedive, with profits tumbling dramatically in the next quarter. This could mean drastic cuts within the company.

“The retirement of this outstanding candidate could mean cutbacks at every level, so integral was (First Name) to the continued smooth running of the company,” one shocked expert commented.

However, other business gurus say the retirement of (First Name) may have the opposite effect, spurring the employees on to fill the huge gap left by the enthusiastic employee's legacy and prompting a massive upturn in company fortunes.

(First Name) leaving could be the best thing to happen to us,” said an insider. “We could see unequalled success at the firm as we rally together and attempt the impossible job of filling the (Age) year old's shoes.”

When asked to comment about the future of the company following this shock retirement announcement, a member of Lord Alan Sugar’s entourage said, “Generally, the retirement of one individual may have little or no financial impact on the continued success of any company. But let’s face it; we are talking about (First Name) (Surname). Quite frankly the place will fall apart without (Surname) – this is a very sad day for the British economy.”

Delivery Details

UK Delivery Carrier Cost Production Timescales
(working days)
Estimated Postage Lead Times
(add to production timescales)
Standard Royal Mail £3.99 1 - 2 Days 1-3 days
Urgent Courier £6.99 1 Day Next Day
Working Days

We operate Monday to Friday only, so weekends and holidays do not count in the production or postage timescales quoted. Orders placed before 11am begin production that day, while orders received after this time begin the following day. Orders placed on a Friday afternoon or over a weekend will begin production on Monday.

Production + Delivery

The majority of our gifts are made to order, so please allow time for the product to be made (produced) as well as the time for delivery. The table above outlines our production time for both standard and urgent orders, please add these to the postage lead time for an accurate idea of when you’ll receive your item(s).

International Delivery Leadtimes (where available)
European delivery is available on this gift
Delivery outside Europe (worldwide) is available on this gift
Standard Lead Time from production (airmail):
  • Europe: 3 - 5 days
  • Rest of the World: 5 - 7 days
Urgent Lead Time from production (Fedex courier):
  • Europe: 1 -3 days
  • North America: 1 - 2 days
  • Rest of the World: 3 - 5 days
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Presentation Options

(Click to Enlarge)
  • Single Page
  • Newspaper Wrap
  • Presentation Case
  • Framed

Retirement - Spoof Newspaper

From £ 11.99
Read Reviews
  • Spoof Daily Mirror front page
  • Personalise the Headline and elements of the story
  • Upload your own Picture (optional)
  • Tabloid-sized (36 x 28cm)
  • Excellent choice of presentation options

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